Rejection is said to be the number one fear of all human beings.
It comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes totally unexpected.
A study that was carried out by Roy Baumeister of the Case Western Reserve University in Ohio shows that rejection, lowers our IQ, makes us to act irrationally and send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem. He explains:
People really seem designed to get along with others, and when you’re excluded, this has significant effects…To live in society, people have to have an inner mechanism that regulates their behaviour. Rejection defeats the purpose of this, and people become impulsive and self-destructive. You have to use self-control to analyse a problem in an IQ test, for example – and instead, you behave impulsively.
So how do you deal with this eventuality? C’mon, we have and we will be rejected at some point in our lives.
Please let me say this slowly because I mean it :
There is nothing wrong with you.
Understand that it has nothing to do with you as a person.
Let me explain.
While discussing this with my smartypants friend Eric, (because we all need one in our lives) he brought up the law of attraction. As y’all remember from basic physics that like pole attract.
When we are give our genuine selves to the world then we are likely to attract people who are like us or hold similar values. If we try to play the chameleon and try to force a fit, it will eventually show. Pretense takes too much energy and why waste when you could be creating awfully good memories with a different person or organization.
Marie Forleo explains this beautifully in this post that I shared earlier.
When someone says no to us, it does not mean, that there is something wrong with you essentially. It just means that they are not agreeing to your point of view for their own reasons and that’s OK.