My Fave Things #36

Hey Friends!

I hope that this week was  a blast for y’all.  My week began on a sombre mood.  The  one day that I forgot my phone at home, the one day that  I hoped that I would social media hiatus of  sorts , is the day that my  best friend informed  (eventually) that he’s eldest brother passed away. It was  quite  sudden and  my heart goes out to him and his family at this painful time.

Coincidentally,  Kenyan health workers   have been on strike  over salaries and the fact that healthcare  should be   the  responsibility of the central  government.  The situation has   been quite heart-breaking.   I  hope that the government  can redirect  its  funds to address the  basic  needs  of our  country  such as healthcare , food security and  security.

Here are these week’s round of links:

In case you missed out on  my posts  this week:

What we love

How rejection lowers your IQ

 

Yours truly,

Kerry

 

How Rejection Lowers Your IQ

Rejection is said to be the number one fear of all human beings.

It comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes totally unexpected.

A study  that was carried out by  Roy Baumeister of the Case Western Reserve University in Ohio shows that rejection, lowers  our IQ, makes  us to act irrationally and send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem. He  explains:

People really seem designed to get along with others, and when you’re excluded, this has significant effects…To live in society, people have to have an inner mechanism that regulates their behaviour. Rejection defeats the purpose of this, and people become impulsive and self-destructive. You have to use self-control to analyse a problem in an IQ test, for example – and instead, you behave impulsively.

Read the rest here

So how do you deal with this eventuality? C’mon, we  have  and we will be rejected at some point in our lives.

Please let me say this slowly because I mean it :

There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that it has nothing to do with you as a person.

Confused?

Let me explain.

While discussing this with my smartypants friend Eric, (because we all need one in our lives) he brought up the law of attraction. As y’all remember from basic physics that like pole attract.

When we are give our genuine selves to the world then we are likely to attract people who are like us or hold similar values. If we try to play the chameleon and try to force a fit, it will eventually show. Pretense takes too much energy and why waste when you could be creating awfully good memories with a different person or organization.

Marie Forleo explains this beautifully in this post that I shared earlier.

When someone says no to us, it does not mean, that there is something wrong with you essentially. It just means that they are not agreeing to your point of view for their own reasons and that’s OK.

Related:

10 surprising facts about rejection